Thank you

1. To that friend who listens to me whine and knows my secrets.

2. To my parents who suffer me and are ultimately always there to support, although they don't make me realise it all the time.

3. To my brother who forgives easily and asks for forgiveness with equal ease.

4. To the wonderful guy who sends me a heart every morning to cheer me up.

5. To the friend who made life a bit easier for four months and who will soon leave the country.

6. To the old friends far away who still call, even when I don't always do the same.

7. To the friends who taught me friendship isn't forever.

8. To the person who taught me what love shouldn't be and to the person who taught me what love needs to blossom.

9. To that stranger who smiled so brilliantly at me that I will never forget it.

10. To the friend who insists I get a jacket and brings a sweatshirt for me.

11. To the stranger who asks me how my day is going.

12. To the friend who makes impromptu plans and brings me out of my comfort zone.

13. To the authors who write books that help me escape.

14. To everyone who shows a little bit of care, unexpectedly, which makes me believe a little bit more in humanity.

The Little Things in Life

If you really think about it, there are so many things that could cheer you up, little things, accidental things, stumbling upon an unexpected circumstance, immeasurable, momentary, ephemeral...
Imagine a lousy day, you've been stressed out and overloaded with work, nothing is going the way you want, yes, you know, that kind of a day, what makes you feel good? What makes you feel a little bit better? What makes you happy?

I have thought about it a lot during the past few days, and have deliberated my actions towards those things which make me happy after a lousy day, and trust me, it has helped me feel at least a little bit better.

1. Writing down what I am grateful for. If things are not looking up, and life at that moment seems impossible, I try and remember all the things I am fortunate to have. No, it doesn't always work, but it helps. I also have daily reminders set before I end the day reminding me to be grateful for at least one thing. Every day at 10 pm sharp, my phone pings and reminds me to sleep with a grateful heart.

2. Pizza/ Choco Lava Cake/ French fries. Yes, you heard me right. Eating junk food makes me happy. I don't know how, I don't know why, but it does and it will remain on the top of my lists and I am not ashamed to admit it.

3. Helping a random stranger/ or even a friend, without expecting anything in return. If the world has been especially cruel to you, and no matter how many times you have tried, life just doesn't seem fair, well, what better way to make the world a better place than to lend a hand unconditionally to someone.

4. Thinking of those dear souls who love you and take time out of their day for you. Be it your family or friends, there is someone in the world who cares about you, and you my friend are lucky to have them. Thinking about them makes my heart fill with joy. Be it those crazy friends of yours who take the day to spend time with you, fall asleep during your night movie sessions, come to see you off, send you daily reminders of how loved you are, inspire you to take one more step, or that family of yours, who even though you fight with on a regular basis, you always keep going back to them. Maybe spend some time with them.

5. Treat yourself. Spend a day pampering yourself, Take yourself out on a date, keep those phones away (except to make reservation at that restaurant you always wanted to try out or at that new spa), read a book, pursue a hobby, go trekking, travel, cook, buy some flowers, go crazy dancing or singing, lose yourself in the pursuit of whatever it is you love to do.

6. Connect with your old friends. I admit it, I am a very bad friend when it comes to keeping in touch, I'm horrible at it. So if any of you are reading this (you know who you are), I am sorry. I love the fact that I can call you guys and we can start off as if we never stopped talking. Those precious gems in your life!

7. Clean and organize. I don't know what is it about organizing and going on a cleaning spree that cheers you up. It helps me think clearly, get a better hold on life.

8. Get your perspective right. Write down your goals. Write down how you are going to achieve it, make steps, divide, work on each step, one at a time, tick them off on your list, put milestones, and celebrate when you achieve them.

9. Exercise and yoga.  Burn out all that stress and worry you have been holding up, If you're mad, take it out on that jog and run an extra mile. Or take deep breaths as you take control over your body,

10. Pray. When in doubt, when you feel hopeless, when things haven't looked up for ages, when you feel alone, kneel and pray. Let all your emotions drain and surrender. Perhaps you don't believe in God, and that's okay too. Even if you don't, send a little prayer out into the universe and hope to be heard, you never know if you'll get to hear something back.

11. Cry. Personally, I have never been a big fan of letting people know I cry. But that doesn't mean I never cry. I do. A lot, actually. Just not in front of people. Favorite places include a washroom cubicle, my bed at night or any place where I can be alone until I get a better hold over my amuck emotions. Cry as much as you want, for as long as you want, it is a natural event. And after you're done, promise yourself you will not cry for the same reason. You might not always keep those promises, but it's worth a sincere effort too.

12. Communication can solve a lot of issues. Talk to people. If it's a particular person that has caused you to stress out, be upset or angry, talk to them. Be polite but effective. If it doesn't make a difference, you tried, but if it does, way to go! If you can't talk to that person or if it's an unfortunate circumstance in your life, talk to someone you love, someone you trust, someone who can tell you what to do (if there is a need), someone who can hold you up and support you when you need them, your best friend, you significant other, your family.

13. Do something about your problem. Take a step back, look at your problem, then solve it. If you don't think you can, ask for help. Find out how to tackle it and then do it. Take action. There's a solution to every problem, it's something I firmly believe in.

14. Look up at the stars. Yes. If I am unhappy and I am outside, I look up at the stars. It makes me feel better. Maybe it's the vastness of the universe and realizing how insignificant I am, or maybe it's just the beauty of it, but it helps.

Image Courtesy

This is life. It will have it's ups and downs, and it's up to you to decide what you do during those times. Take only the good from the bad  (more difficult than it's sounds). Be happy.

-Anjana

Coloured Perches

 ‘The first to apologise is the bravest, the first to forgive is the strongest and the first to forget is the happiest.’

Growing up and passing through this journey of life, you meet a lot of people; some stay, some leave, and some leave impressions on you that last a lifetime, while some just slowly fade away and blow away with the wind of lost memories.

Of my short, perhaps ‘not yet much experienced’ life, I have come across people who I can categorize into well, three categories (I felt like a judgemental ass writing that, but oh well!).

There are those who forgive and forget. They are perhaps the most innocent, or rather pure of souls, incapable of holding any grudge against the people around them. A simply apology makes everything alright. Even before the apology, they accept whatever they have faced, and well...move on. These people, they amaze me, I have the utmost respect and I stand in awe of them, for I know I am one of those people who cannot ever be like them. The world needs these happy-go-lucky souls, they are perhaps the reason optimism still persists in abundance in a world in need of such positivity. The world, for them is black and white. There is however, a darker side to such glowing naiveté (I acknowledge I might not be right in calling them that). But the world would find it easy to take advantage of these happy souls. In an ideal world, the possibility is hardly relevant but in the real world, it’s hardly so. There will always be, after all, two sides to everything.

Then there are those like me. Forgive, but not forget. It’s perhaps the easiest of choices, but I don’t know how to explain this. I believe a vast majority of the people can identify with this. These people, they play by throwing caution to the wind. Forgiveness comes easy, but forgetting proves a harder fight. There are not many they trust and trust for them is fragile, easily broken, and a prized possession, like strings, once broken, there will always remain a knot. They are more practical in their nature, but riddled with doubts on everything. This attitude might prove more effective in the real world, but in the long run results in tunnel vision. They are perhaps even inclined towards more pessimism than optimism. The world for them is grey. There is always a reason and an explanation to everything. Some of them hold on to the grudges, some let go, but with both, the memory of the experience still remains. Speaking from experience, it’s not a very pleasant state to be in. You learn to let go of the feelings, but you take the lessons with you.

And finally, the ones who never forgive nor forget. You come across a few of them now and then, and as always they do not fail to amuse me. On a much lesser scale of the damage done, their antics are hilarious to observe (speaking from my sardonic and hardened perch). But on a larger scale, result in a bitter way of life, always complaining (whining rather!) lifestyle filled with pessimism. They are not always this noticeable though; some just stay quiet and silently breed and garner the growing pile of grudges. It might prove helpful at times, in context of winning an argument or some slight matter at hand. But in the long run, it doesn’t leave you with many friends or loved ones. For them the black and white world is continuously changing according to their needs, feelings and desires. Nothing remains white, or black, always changing, never constant.

This is just one perspective, there are  different types of people, depends on what vista you chose to observe from. There are so many perspectives, different angles, divergent, individual, distinct opinions. They all matter, for they are your own. I know I am not right in my distinctions (I strongly believe we are different yet the same, there’s no complete black and white, always grey), but then they are my distinctions and ultimately my choices. Every individual has their own outlook on life, on people, on experiences, and no one outlook is right, nor wrong. They all matter, for they all speak of our own different, individual signatures that we chose to leave behind for the world to see, our impressions and legacies.

Thorns

I am a firm believer of the fact that if people wanted to be in someone's life they'd make a genuine effort to do so. I believe, noone is too busy to not make time for someone they truly care of. A text, a call, anything, is never too much taxation on someone who really wants to be close to you.

Of experiences.

Lessons Learnt

#8

Growing up is dealing with your problems on your own.

As I sit here and write this, I cannot help but feel a little proud of myself. It doesn't amount to much when compared to others around the world, but it's my little victory and it means a lot to me. And that makes me happy.

Part of Life

Past two months, I haven't written. Was I busy? Well yes, but that's not it.

So many times, I have taken my laptop, opened Word and just stared at the screen, oblivious and clueless. Then I would close the laptop lid and distract myself. Distraction. I had been desperate for it. In some ways, I think I still am. I just 'needed' to not think. And well, it didn't quite work out well.

I have wondered if it was depression. I have gone online and taken countless depression tests which gave me a rather dark review about myself. I have spent hours looking up 'How to be Happy' online and I have..well I thought there would be something else, but I guess not! Oh wait, I have lost weight! A bit too much perhaps.
But I have learned,by God, I have learnt. And I am grateful for that.

It is all a part of life. I realized if we didn't really go through all the hard times, we would never appreciate the good, we would never appreciate life. Because this is life. And to experience life, is what we are here for. So that's what it is. Experience.

What I want is a life colored with emotions, brimming over with them, a life without any regrets, I want to experience it all, everything. I want to be able to live a full life. That is what I want.

Away

With eyes that are now dry,

And a face that does not look behind,

She raises her head and walks straight,

Ignoring the fact that her voice still shakes a little,

Therein lies strength and true beauty.

Growing up and Moving on

This year has been, well, simply put, overwhelming. Overwhelming because of the things I've experienced, learnt, felt and done. Especially the past few months. I have felt unconditional love (not what you'd imagine!), excruciating pain, disappointment, happiness and most importantly learnt some major life's lessons. It feels like I was drugged on emotions, the independence I had found, the recklessness, the moment... 

I think, maybe all of us go through this at one point of time or the other. I realize I am not alone in this, so I know it's going to be okay.

Maybe it's all a part of turning 20. It's sort of depressing, if I'm being honest. It's like I'm losing a part of myself, shutting it  off, caging it forever from the world and promising myself that I'll never bring that part of me out again. But then I'm learning to deal with it and in that I find my solace.

The things I've learnt-

> Love is never easy. And if it happens quickly, most of the times, it's not real. There will be an initial high and with time, chances are both of you will start feeling the loss of that high. One of you will always be more committed and expect more, and the other will have priorities elsewhere. That will only breed resentment, disappointment and sadness. Ultimately, you lose hope and just give up. So just wait for it, take it easy and move on.

> Selfless friendship is not real. Your friends will always put themselves before you. Remember they always want you to do well, but not better than them. That's what it ultimately comes down to. It's all a race, a competition, and each one will always want to be first. So don't go the extra mile for them. Do good. Don't be selfish but also don't be selfless. Enjoy the good times with your friends, share your sorrows and joys but don't go that extra mile for anybody.

> Having high expectation out of any situation or a person is never a good idea. Keep your expectations low.

> Be the bigger person. Apologize, and breed good relations. Look at a situation from both sides, and understand. Forgive yourself if it's your fault and apologize to the people involved. Even if it's not your fault, learn to talk it out and apologize for any harm done. It doesn't cost much.

> Your secrets and feelings are yours alone. Don't let anyone put you down, or make you feel inferior for who you are, or what you feel. You, as a human, are entitled to feel whatever you want, to be your own person, to be different. It helps to talk about it, but before you do think if you'll regret telling anyone about how you feel and then tell them.

> In life you'll probably end up doing a lot of stupid things. Things like getting drunk, try and impress someone who's not worth it, flirt with complete strangers, be completely reckless and lose it, and etc and etc. But well, honestly, you won't really regret it (as long as it doesn't end up in violence, or a legal case or anything of the sorts). You learn from them and you move on.

> There will be days in your life when you are at the point of bursting with happiness, days like you're birthdays, the day you achieved something, or won something. Days when the world is all happy for you, and it's all rosy and golden. But, it's all temporary. Do not rely on it too much because this too shall pass.

> Being an individual with your own ideas and thoughts, you will always face criticism. Criticism for your ideas, for your thoughts, for what you say and what you write, criticism from all directions, your friends, family, teachers. Don't let it get to you. Stand strong for what you believe in. Realize that in the end, those who truly love you will support you no matter what. So stand tall with your head high for what you believe in.

> Learn to take everything in stride. And I mean everything. Things that might mean a lot to you today, a few days, weeks, months or years might lose all importance. So don't prioritize them over your own good. If it is, it is. If it isn't, it isn't. So just lay back and look at life with a lazy eye, it helps!

> Let it go. The resentments, disappointments.., let it all go. It's slow poison, harming only you and hindering your own personal growth. Always be the better person, because ultimately it's your integrity that matters most. Think and achieve self-actualization.

I don't know how many of you can relate to it, but I hope you do. And if you do, I hope it helped put things more in perspective for you.

In the end, all I have to say is lead a life you are proud of. Be good. And stay happy.

Cheers!
-Anj

Pages: Diary of a Young Woman

Decisions.

12th April, 2015
02:34 pm

Loving hurts. So I'll stop now and move on with my life.

Perhaps, it was never meant to be. Just a lesson in my life. Maybe it will be someone else, someday. Or maybe it will be no one. Either way, I will live and I will be happy, even if I have to do so alone.

~Words from the torn page of a secret diary

Quest

#1

Be the support you have to be for others. Help them. Have them lean on you.
But be your own woman. They might not be here when you need them for the same and do not expect them to be either.
You have yourself. You don't need anyone else. Be your own strength. Support yourself. Stay happy.

Empty Thoughts

In the story of our lives, we are all our own heroes and everyone else merely supporting actors and actresses.

Humans are inherently selfish. We all want what we want. Its a tragic thought, isn't it. Makes one wonder, who will remain when we need them the most.

Oh..., what wouldn't I give to know that I have that one person who will always be there!

Quest: Finding Yourself

#1
When they ask you what's wrong, put a smile on your face, look at them ask them what they mean. Say you're fine and then make a joke or change the topic.

It works...always.

#StayStrong
#Don'tGiveUp

Lessons Learnt: Words of Encouragement

Its amazing how when you are upset or slowly crumbling, its always the people at the edge of your world who come forward and ask you,  'What happened? '. They are the beautiful people in your life who blend into the background and come forward only to open up a shard of brightness in your world. They are your silent and sincere guardian angels.

And it is equally remarkable to see that the people you thought you were close to fail to see the hurt behind the fake smiles and laughter.

#6

And through all this you realise, you are a victim of your own minds.
You make your own happiness. You don't have to depend on others for it. It is your life. You have to make of it what you will. For you only get one chance at this life.

Lessons Learnt

#5

Someone reminded me recently- “You should take risks Anjana, life is too short not to!”, he had said.

So, thank you for reminding me.

“A boat is safe in the harbour, but this is not the purpose of a boat”- Paulo Coelho.

Lessons learnt

#5
Getting too attached to person is not a healthy option.

Image Courtesy

Changing...

There are a lot of people I admire around me, people older than me, my age and even younger than me.  And once I start admiring them for their methods, this slow observation of their skills slowly breathes and creeps into my own way of life. That's how I believe people change, how we become better persons, turn ourselves into something we respect in others.

Image Courtesy

Lessons learnt

#4
Nice strangers do exist. All one needs is  a smile, a friendly attitude and a doze of serendipity.

Lessons learnt

#3
Inspiration can come from the most unlikely sources...
*Written under the influence of blissful contentment and euphoria.

Lessons learnt

#2
Treat everyone equally. No one is more or less deserving of your attentions.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
          -Eleanor Roosevelt

Lessons learnt

#1
Don't direct your anger at someone else, you might end up hurting people you care about.