‘The first to apologise is the bravest, the first to forgive is the strongest and the first to forget is the happiest.’
Growing up and passing through this journey of life, you meet a lot of people; some stay, some leave, and some leave impressions on you that last a lifetime, while some just slowly fade away and blow away with the wind of lost memories.
Of my short, perhaps ‘not yet much experienced’ life, I have come across people who I can categorize into well, three categories (I felt like a judgemental ass writing that, but oh well!).
There are those who forgive and forget. They are perhaps the most innocent, or rather pure of souls, incapable of holding any grudge against the people around them. A simply apology makes everything alright. Even before the apology, they accept whatever they have faced, and well...move on. These people, they amaze me, I have the utmost respect and I stand in awe of them, for I know I am one of those people who cannot ever be like them. The world needs these happy-go-lucky souls, they are perhaps the reason optimism still persists in abundance in a world in need of such positivity. The world, for them is black and white. There is however, a darker side to such glowing naiveté (I acknowledge I might not be right in calling them that). But the world would find it easy to take advantage of these happy souls. In an ideal world, the possibility is hardly relevant but in the real world, it’s hardly so. There will always be, after all, two sides to everything.
Then there are those like me. Forgive, but not forget. It’s perhaps the easiest of choices, but I don’t know how to explain this. I believe a vast majority of the people can identify with this. These people, they play by throwing caution to the wind. Forgiveness comes easy, but forgetting proves a harder fight. There are not many they trust and trust for them is fragile, easily broken, and a prized possession, like strings, once broken, there will always remain a knot. They are more practical in their nature, but riddled with doubts on everything. This attitude might prove more effective in the real world, but in the long run results in tunnel vision. They are perhaps even inclined towards more pessimism than optimism. The world for them is grey. There is always a reason and an explanation to everything. Some of them hold on to the grudges, some let go, but with both, the memory of the experience still remains. Speaking from experience, it’s not a very pleasant state to be in. You learn to let go of the feelings, but you take the lessons with you.
And finally, the ones who never forgive nor forget. You come across a few of them now and then, and as always they do not fail to amuse me. On a much lesser scale of the damage done, their antics are hilarious to observe (speaking from my sardonic and hardened perch). But on a larger scale, result in a bitter way of life, always complaining (whining rather!) lifestyle filled with pessimism. They are not always this noticeable though; some just stay quiet and silently breed and garner the growing pile of grudges. It might prove helpful at times, in context of winning an argument or some slight matter at hand. But in the long run, it doesn’t leave you with many friends or loved ones. For them the black and white world is continuously changing according to their needs, feelings and desires. Nothing remains white, or black, always changing, never constant.
This is just one perspective, there are different types of people, depends on what vista you chose to observe from. There are so many perspectives, different angles, divergent, individual, distinct opinions. They all matter, for they are your own. I know I am not right in my distinctions (I strongly believe we are different yet the same, there’s no complete black and white, always grey), but then they are my distinctions and ultimately my choices. Every individual has their own outlook on life, on people, on experiences, and no one outlook is right, nor wrong. They all matter, for they all speak of our own different, individual signatures that we chose to leave behind for the world to see, our impressions and legacies.