Friday, 31 May 2013

Our Garden in Bloom!


I don't know what woke me,maybe a dream, an urge,a feeling, but suddenly i was awake, wide awake. I shivered, not from cold, it's the middle of summer. For  a time i just lay there, wondering empty thoughts, feeling indifferent,insubstantial, i don't know if it was a movement but something caught my attention towards the corner of the room, maybe it was instinct. Instantly i could feel someone watching me, the hair on the back of me neck stood up, i shivered again. Realizing finally that i was awake i quickly looked at the time on my phone-12:37. I averted my eyes again towards the corner and immediately had the urge to run. But i didn't.  I realized i couldn't, even if in wanted to, something was stopping me. I sat up, never taking my eyes off the corner. The little light that came through he blinds from the street light outside my window afforded no sight. The corner was still dark, darker than the surroundings, enveloped in shadows. My imagination running wild again, i thought.Relaxing slightly with that thought, my body still tensed i lowered myself again into the bed. Finally i felt sleep come over on me, groggy, and i was in that place between reality and complete sleep, the place where your dreams come true, darkest fantasies are revealed, i was treading that fine line between those two places. My face was still facing that corner. Mist. shadows, fog...a man, probably in his late thirties, dejected, sad, upset....'destroyed'-the word came unbidden to my mind.Why? Why is he destroyed? The little light from the streetlight showed  a receding hairline, premature gray, permanent lines etched into a high forehead. He came and stood beside my bed, looking down on me,beseechingly,i thought. He was moving his lips. looking desperate now, moving his lips fast. His eyes revealed hidden sadness and a hint of something else...something with just a hint of a presence.  Now he is fading, disappearing, melting into...nothing. Then i was lost. Lost in a restless sleep, with images of mist, fog and eyes those haunted, sad eyes. Yes, that's what it was, that look in his eyes, he was haunted. Haunted by what?
Morning revealed a day clouded over with dark skies. My sleep was fitful,broken. And immediately i was bombarded with the happenings of the  night. Was it real? Was it my overactive imagination?Probably.

I forgot this incident, or rather chose to forget it.

A couple of months passed without any further incidence or even an evidence of such a night happening. One day we had some guests visit our house.As we were seeing them to the door the conversation inclined to a very unusual topic-about murders and suicides. My father without probably realising i was present mentiones a suicide which had happened in our house some decades ago. I was immediately all ears.
I then proceeded to question my father further on this peace of new information. It was a man in his late thirties and that was it, that was all he knew. I decided to look into it with the help of the local library.After some strenuous and hours of research, this is what i found- a 39 year old man had committed suicide for no apparent reasons. His wife and a single son had died in an accident an year back, early in their marriage and he had lead a lonely life after that. He had owned a local chemist shop and when he died it had gone to the community since the man had left no will.

I am not professing to know the truth but it's just a theory. Maybe the reason he was haunted was the death of his wife and son, maybe it was their memory that had haunted him, kept him haunted, depraved, maybe that's why he had had no reason to live. No one knows. No one bothered to find out, not even the neighbors. their testimony-"he was lonely man from the beginning, even through his marriage, kept to himself even after his family's accident. He did his job well". That was all they could tell. In one of the newspaper reports i found a picture of his, and my blood ran cold. It was the same man, albeit he still had life.

Since that day i confess I've had no other premonitions, sightings, or anything that made me think of those events of the past.
 Who knows what it was, maybe a memory, a memory from the house that housed that family, a memory brought on to the surface due an unreal, supernatural force, or maybe it was a trick of the subconscious, the complex human brain generating information from the surroundings. 
You tell me.

You might also like:
Childish Longing 
A Ray Of Hope 
Am I Gonna Cry Again? 

Friday, 24 May 2013


One depressing, despondent day in class, when I was feeling particularly down and feeling like the world is a big black burgeoning dark pit, a janitor of sorts entered the class to clean the blackboards.
I was sitting at my desk seeking solace outside the windows when a noise alerted was the janitor. He had apparently noticed that my eyes were glazed over with faltering tears and well, I must have looked particularly forlorn. With a quick motion of his head he asked whether I was okay or not. Flustered and quickly brought out of my reverie I smiled and showed him a thumbs-up! A lie but...

And at that moment a realization struck me, quite profoundly if I might add, here I was feeling dejected in a class full of friends but the only one who noticed was a man I had never seen before.

Sometimes life teaches us that a person millions of miles away can feel you when even your near and dear ones cant...!

Monday, 20 May 2013

Have you ever given a thought?

Have you ever given a thought to as to what the world would be like without its faults, it's wrongs, it's embellishments?
Imagine a world without sadness,unhappiness,despondency...indeed a dream come true for almost all of us. But I cannot help but wonder as to the nature of such a world, I am inclined to think that the world would cease to be exciting, but rather incline towards being menial, in fact boring.
I mean after knowing the hardships,challenges and the lessons that the world has of feed us we would feel positively bored, have no expectations whatsoever of anything different happening the next day. These thoughts have been revolving in my head for quite a few days now and well... I just wanted to get it out to the world and know their opinions too.
What I ended up perceiving was this- without all these hardships, sorrows and lessons that we learn in everyday life, life would cease to have any real meaning, it would end up to be rather a dull world with nothing to look forward too.
And that is just my opinion...what do you all think?


It's this feeling inside of you, a question, a statement, a remark that seems to be eating away a part of you, deep inside of you. An innocent remark or even a naive question can provoke it.The feeling persists even though you try to get rid of it, it's still you sleepless nights, making you livid at times and at times making you cry.
Your mind questions you, expecting an answer and when you dont, it slowly changes it's calm demeanor to that of a beast clawinf you, eating you from the inside, harshly putting forward your fears.
It starts out as an itch, a stubborn one and gradually, slowly, persistently grows into  a deadly disease, threatening even to kill.
What is the cure? Can anyone tell me....? Or will my question remain forever unanswered....a desperate call for help not payed heed to....
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...